she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dear god my vagina.
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