i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
