Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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