Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize