Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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