The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
