you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
