I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
