worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
