the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
