fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
