mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i think my tv is drunk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
