If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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