Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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