I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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