Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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