i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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