I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Farmville is her only friend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
