none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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