She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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