got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
