Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
