I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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