we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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