i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
