I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
