plz talk dirty to me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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