Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
