Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
