If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
