ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
