I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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