The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my poor anus
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
