Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
