Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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