oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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