my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
