better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize