I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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