Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize