yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My life is pants optional.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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