I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my mouth tastes like poor choices
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize