she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
