Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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