If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
