i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we're making bets on your personal life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
