I think scott just propositioned me for sex
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
