gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
