my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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