There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
