I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
