but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
