guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize