I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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