We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
