the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
