the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
