You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
