Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when does round two start

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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(607): View more from New York

She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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(951): View more from California

you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house

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(719): View more from Colorado

They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.

(719): View more from Colorado

Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.

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