people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
