Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
